


Rebuilding

by bonhamhcarter



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Caryl, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-13 20:06:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12991545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonhamhcarter/pseuds/bonhamhcarter
Summary: What would happen if Carol met Daryl and the girls on the roads after the prison fell on their way to Terminus. 4x14 alternative version.





	Rebuilding

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to thank you CharlotteAshmore for beta and my sweet friend bigdarylhead for all the support and appreciation - I certainly wouldn't translate this is story and post it in here if wasn't for you.  
> It also was posted in ninelivesarchive. So, just in case, it's my account and now I decides to post it in here. It's not copy, plagiarism or anything.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy it! Kuddos/reviews are love.

"Carol? Lie down with me?" Mika asked petulantly , sitting on her makeshift bed in front of the fireplace and turning back to look at her. It was late, and as heavy as her eyes were, turning uncomfortably from one side to the other, the girl would not allow herself to go to sleep.

"You promise you'll try to sleep?" Carol asked in a serious tone, despite the gleam in her slightly narrowed eyes.

Sensing her approval, the girl gave a sleepy smile followed by a slight nod, laying back on her bed and pulling the covers up to her neck. Carol couldn't help but smile back, leaving the sofa and going straight to her. Leaning under two pillows and standing in a half-seated position, half-lying against the couch, she allowed Mika to settle against her body, using her thighs as pillows and finding the comfort and safety sought by throwing her arms around her legs, hugging her subtly.

Less than a week ago, the Governor and the Woodbury people had attacked the prison, set in chaos as the fences collapsed, walkers took over and many innocent and defenseless lives were taken by human hands and the undead. As a consequence, the whole group had dispersed, the situation had fled from control and there was no alternative but to escape.

Gathering their weapons and clutching their backpacks with what little of their belongings remained, Lizzie and Mika ran into the forest with Daryl holding Judith in his arms, finding Carol still in the woods after little more than a day of escape.

Only when she had reached a safe distance did the woman question whether the time had come to look for the other members of the group, but the hunter immediately interrupted her, arguing that the children were their priority at the moment and, thinking of them, should begin to search for a roof for their heads and thermal insulation before the cold began to set in. Carol understood and agreed with the thought, and so, after a day and a half of walking, following the train tracks to a place called the Terminus, they found the great country house they used for shelter.

It was a cold winter night, possibly one of the lowest temperatures they’d ever experienced. Faced with the precariousness of very few blankets and the inferior quality of the clothes they wore, Mika had asked Daryl and Carol to sleep together in the living room, lighting a fire in the fireplace, but mainly keeping themselves more comfortable with all the warmth provided during the night. Lizzie had eagerly agreed to her sister's suggestion, sharing with the adults the occasions before the fall of civilization where they met with their parents and replaced the comfort of their rooms with the intimacy of the living room in a mess of mattresses, pillows laid on the floor.

Gently smiling at the shared memory and realizing how important it would be for the girls to repeat this activity, Carol's motherly side spoke louder and she allowed, assisting the organization by shifting the sofas and coffee table and sweeping the floor before extending the mattress and covers over the clean hardwood floor.

It was a very particular and familiar situation, filled with a sense of family unknown to Daryl, and Carol recognized how uncomfortable it might be. But given the situation they were in, struggling for their lives, sheltered in an unknown location and away from their family and friends, she thought it important for the girls to identify with a bit of normalcy in this condition, enabling moments of safety and calm and mental stability.

Sighing, Carol ran her hands through Mika's hair, occasionally playing with a particular lock. She looked at Lizzie, deeply asleep in a reclining chair. She had been through so much at such a young age, as had her little Sophia. At the age of only twelve, both had lost their childhood, security and well-being to the walker invasion; their maturity, resilience, and quick reasoning were tested daily, challenging them and forcing them to learn new activities, even when there should be no need to teach them even when mature (eg how to defend themselves and flee in high-risk cases). Unlike Mika, however, who was even younger, Sophia didn’t even pass the first of the survival tests. Under the challenge of remaining silent and keeping her cool for her safety, she failed miserably and embraced her own death with an impulsive act, and Carol couldn't blame her. Well, Sophia was just a child, and if it was someone else's responsibility to take care of her girl, the indirect cause of her death fell on Carol’s shoulders, and it was a fault she would sadly bear daily until her last breath.

Breaking her from her daydreams, Judith suddenly burst into tears, causing Carol and Daryl to exchange a quick glance as they silently decided who would attend to her. With a nod of his head, Daryl rose from his chair, dropping the knife he concentrated on using to poke under his fingernails. The girl had been fed a few hours ago, so it definitely wasn't hunger. He then chose to swing the child up into his arms, pacing the room with slow steps and whispering in a low enough voice so only they understood what was being said.

It was funny to think that Daryl, a man who had grown up in a hostile environment, with an alcoholic father and extremely abusive, without a decent decent family structure, and the slightest concern to meet his basic needs, had become intimidating and sarcastic, he had met on the freeway on the way to Atlanta and had evolved to the point where he had become a brother to the leader of his group, entrusting him to his own life and now to his daughter.

Daryl had never cared for children; in fact, he’d never been in direct contact with one, until now. At present, accompanying her twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, he divided her functions and caring with the rest of the family. Maybe that was one of the reasons the sight of a man so rustic was utterly charming when softly murmuring to a baby, with a slightly softer facial expression.

He’d never thought about raising a family. In other words, for a long time he repudiated the idea, considered it not only improbable but ridiculous. Yet, after his intense search for Sophia in the woods and Judith's birth, something within him had seemed to change, and new and unfamiliar feelings began to flourish, without even realizing it. It was the feeling of pride in being identified as a safe haven when little Jude held the tip of her finger so trustingly ; the satisfaction of getting a smile from the girl - or, better yet, an extremely delicious and true laugh; the frustration at the inability to find Sophia in the forest still alive, finally bringing her to the safety and love of her mother's arms, coupled with the incompetence of not identifying the reason for Judith's cry, taking more time than necessary to achieve to calm her or to have someone take her out of her arms in order to contain her more quickly; the sensation of peace in watching her sleep, immersed in a playful world of colorful dreams, peaceful, innocent and free of all monstrosity that surrounds her; the fascination to perceive the perfection that makes up her whole being, the way her body fits exactly in the arms of the one who holds it, all the feminine delicacy already present in such a small little girl, further strengthening the ideals and the image of who will become in the future, how remarkable will be its physical beauty, to highlight its small clear and bulging eyes...

With so many people watching over Mika’s education and health within the prison, there was one in particular who constantly drew Daryl's attention, leaving a gleam in his eyes and making him quietly admit to himself that she was the biggest and best positive influence the girl could receive during her development.

This person had once been a mother, working incessantly on her girl's well-being even before the apocalypse. Her past with her husband had been tragic , suffering a life of physical and moral abuse much like his own. After many prayers to the heavens, even when she’d questioned the existence of something greater and far superior to all mankind, after much stubbornness and persistence, apparently the supposed God put an end to the cause of the greatest evil in her life, eliminating it from the human race in a fateful and belated way.

However, for all the bonuses of life, there was also a burden. Daryl wasn't a great connoisseur of the Bible, quite the opposite. But from the little knowledge he’d attained, the existence of the punitive and intransigent God was real. Even with the great evolution of society, the gods parked in the universe when it came to piety.

Just as, by presenting her with great relief and freedom, her intolerant and abusive husband had taken his life for a living dead at the height of the zombie apocalypse, and as if suffering weren't enough for her, God had punished her for the audacity of celebrating his death by taking the life of her girl.

Daryl couldn't put into words the feeling of losing a son, blood of his blood, a being whose love was conquered deeper and truer; he had no children, and the death of his brother, sad as it was, couldn't be compared to the loss of a child. There were not even gestures or words capable of explaining the pain of a mother, nor the purest gold or the most beautiful rose were not worthy of their analogy. It was against the natural laws of life, where a son was supposed to bury his parents, not the other way around. And there was certainly an irritating look of pity on all who possessed knowledge of her history and followed her with the deepest sense of guilt, even if she hadn't even a tenth of what she imagined she had.

With an act of overcoming never imagined or seen before, Daryl accompanied the day to day of this woman. From an oppressed housewife, afraid of her own shadow, she’d been freed from all her bonds, cutting them into a thousand pieces with her knife, learning to fight, going through trials and surviving the challenges of the apocalyptic world, those who unfortunately her daughter hadn't been able to meet. With so much blood, tears and sweat, happy and sad moments, going through many difficulties and relief, she’d become a great example of strength - physical and emotional - and there was no obstacle or villain large enough to bring her down. Just as she hid behind her own monster, she had become her own strength, her own wall.

With an audible sigh and a faint smile appearing at the corners of his lips, Daryl looked at Judith, realizing the girl had fallen asleep again in his arms. His heart again filled with pride as he had never felt before, and his greatest desire was to share this feeling with the woman he loved, and not coincidentally, her greatest example for the girl's development.

Looking at the woman in front of him, anxiously searching her eyes, Daryl felt a knot in his stomach as he realized Carol had been watching him for some time. He couldn't help but feel a warmth filling his chest and dominating his features , making him blush, and his heart beat even stronger when he felt a genuine smile spreading over his face.

 _Time doesn’t heal everything. In fact, time heals nothing; time just takes the incurable out of the limelight._  It had been a long time since Sophia's loss, and it was impossible to heal her pain or make her forget. Daryl himself had suffered much from the girl’s death, however much he didn't want to admit it, or that Carol hadn't made herself known. There was a saying that all good things come to those who wait, and she certainly believed it. It had been a long time since he had been truly happy, with concrete and continuous moments of happiness or joy, day after day.

After the loss of Sophia, however, it seemed that her life had taken a turn like never before. And, just like her own physical and emotional maturation, life had given her two new gifts. Three, if she was honest with herself. And though it would never be a substitute for the death of her sweet girl, it was equally fulfilling her heart, giving her even greater motives for continuing to live and reasons for wanting to feel. It was life, giving her cause to start over. Rebuilding. Build a new life in your new self, though in the same physical Carol of before.

Loosening a lock of Mika's hair, Carol glared at Daryl, her heart pounding as she realized he was the main factor which motivated her survival.

The day before, as Daryl relaxed in the reclining chair, watching the dancing flames in the hearth, Mika playing with her doll and Lizzie helping her break the shells of the pecans to prepare food for them, the younger girl suggested the trip to the Termimus. They had a roof over their heads, artesian well drinking water, fruit, medicinal plants and spices in the backyard, plus a surrounding forest, making it possible for Daryl to go hunting and bring large and small game home.

Carol couldn't deny, she had really thought about it. They could establish a life there, only the five of them. They had the conditions and the necessary ways, lacking nothing but the real interest.

Looking at Daryl, however, and their gazes meeting, involuntarily pulling two big, real smiles from their faces, that was when she was sure. Mika's request was only the necessary push for such a finding. Life was effectively giving her a second chance to be genuinely happy, and the exact time to reinvent herself was now, without further ado, suffering or anything else which could be a hindrance in her life.


End file.
